


Black and Gold

by thekidsarentalright



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Domestic Violence, Happy Ending, M/M, Phanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 02:25:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3101915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekidsarentalright/pseuds/thekidsarentalright
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil has always seen colors surrounding everyone he meets.  Dan's just is different than most.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black and Gold

Phil doesn't remember what it was like to be unable to see the colors. Ever since he was born, he could see the colors surrounding his parents, his older brother Martin. Everyone but himself. As he grew older, the became able to associate the colors with that strange science of emotions. Martin always retained a dispassionate view, informing his younger brother that every feeling that shock his body and left his head spinning and his heart pounding was purely a potent mix of chemicals. “It’s all just chemistry,” he would tell Phil. Phil would nod and continue on with his own theories of why some people would be awash in blue instead of red, green instead of purple.

As Phil entered secondary school, he encountered more and more people, more and more colors. He discovered a love for art and his teacher would praise his work. “That Lester boy,” he would tell his colleagues, “sees things in different colors.” Phil’s memorable monochromatic portraits soon gave him a name in the art world, and he was soon in London, studying at one of the most prestigious schools of Fine Art the country had to offer. There he came to realize that his new group of friends all tended to be awash in multiple colors. There was PJ, a thoughtful boy, who Phil first saw in sprays of green, a steady and calming presence. As the months went on, he started to pick up on a deep blue washing against the inner core of PJ, a sense that all was not right in his friends world. Two weeks after this revelation, PJ informed Phil that he was depressed. That was the moment in which Phil realized that his gift could help people. It wasn’t just a source of inspiration anymore.

So Phil determinedly honed his talent, learning to distinguish the red of Chris’s self-hatred from his usual mischievous and confident orange. He learned to sense the blue that would infiltrate Zoe, bringing down her usual purple to a much sadder color. Zoe’s blue tended to be soft and sad, emitting a sense of longing. Alfie, a video production major, tended to alleviate her pain. It was no surprise to Phil when they started dating. So Phil moved through other people’s lives, offering what he had to help them. All in all, he was quite pleased with his existence.

It was a week before Phil’s 20th birthday when the first incident happened.

He was walking down a corridor with a boy named Gerard, who specialized in comics. Gerard was telling him about his younger brother Mikey, who would be starting uni here in the fall as a music major. Gerard was always the happiest kind of yellow when he talked about Mikey. Phil was telling Gerard about his own brother when a splitting pain stabbed his mind and his knees buckled. Within a second it was gone and Gerard was rushing Phil to a nearby bench.

“What happened?” Phil could feel Gerard’s usual mixture of yellow and red being marred with blue.

“Nothing,’ he insisted calmly. “Just got a little dizzy.” But Phil was more shaken up about the event that he would ever relate to Gerard.

Phil’s 20th birthday passed without another incident. But then roughly a week and a half later it happened again.

This time he was alone, walking back to his dorm after a late-night study session with PJ. The feeling hit him again, and he saw it, a dark, consuming blackness that came upon him and drowned his mind in the darkness. He was gasping for breath on the ground. The world was spinning too fast and he couldn’t slow down. Phil could see spots appearing in front of his eyes, and just as he was about to pass out, the suffocating obsidian was gone. Phil’s eyes were wide with terror and… wait. Terror. That was the black. Terror was the black emotion. But who was feeling it?

That night, Phil slept uneasily.

Two days later, it happened again. But this time, Phil was not letting the recipient of this pure terror get away. After the pain washed away, he picked himself back up. It was around 7. Most people were out at dinner or studying for exams. So Phil took a guess and opened one of the doors. At first glance, it was just an unoccupied practice room. There was a piano against one wall and music stands littering the corner of the room. It was all together unremarkable if not for the boy in the corner. He was small and thin, with high cheekbones and brown hair that was curling a bit at his ears. He was dressed in a sweater far too big for him and he stared at Phil. For a moment, Phil stared back. He really should have thought this through more.

He decided to go for it. “I’m Phil.”

The boy kept staring. “I’m Dan. And no offense, but why are you here?” He was still huddled in the corner of the room, looking at Phil like he’d never seen anything like him before.

“Umm,” Phil reached for an idea. “Umm, I guess, I came to say hi?” It came out as more of a question then an answer.

Dan snorted out a laugh, and looked so surprised with himself that Phil started to laugh. They were hysterical with the pure absurdity of the situation. Two strangers became two friends in that moment.

“So Dan,” Phil started when he finally go this breath back. “What do you major in?”

Dan let out one last laugh. “I”m studying piano. And you’re in art.”

“How did you know?” Phil asked bemusedly.

Dan laughed again. “You’re covered in paint.”

“What?” Phil looked down at himself. “Oh. Yeah. Me and my friend are trying to recreate this one scene from Howl’s Moving Castle. It’s gonna be pretty great.”

“I love Howl’s Moving Castle!” Dan said excitedly. “It’s my favorite Studio Ghibli film.”

“Me too!” Phil grinned. He liked Dan already.

20 minutes later they found themselves in Phil’s dorm, watching Death Note and arguing about Fall Out Boy. Phil couldn’t possibly relate this boy to the overwhelming blackness that would fill his mind in flashes. Maybe he’d gotten it wrong?

Just as Death Note was coming to a close, Dan’s phone went off. Phil winced as he felt he felt the first strains of black creep up into Dan’s mind. Who was causing the fear?

Dan read the text Phil tried not to cry out from the pain that Dan was feeling. “I have to go,” Dan blurted. “Thanks. Maybe we can do this again?”

“Of course,” Phil replied. “I had a lot of fun.” But Dan was gone, taking the black with him.

~

Over the next few weeks, Phil found himself drawn into a flurry of DanDanDan. They had so much in common that Phil could easily spend every waking hour with him. On occasion, he did. Phil had been catching himself staring at Dan, admiring the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he laughed, or how his hair would curl whenever it got wet. Or how pretty his lips were. Phil was perfectly aware that he was having not-very-platonic thoughts about his best friend. His best friend. Who had a girlfriend.

Phil had never met Annaleigh, but he was painfully aware of her existence. Whenever he wanted to hug Dan to his chest and never let go, her name would make him freeze. When it was around 2 am, and they had just finished the 5th Harry Potter film, Phil wanted to kiss Dan so badly it hurt. And maybe in another world he would have, but Dan was with Annaleigh, and Phil didn’t know if he was into boys. And if he was into boys, he probably wouldn’t be into Phil anyway. Dan wasn’t just out of his league, Dan was MLB and Phil was Little League. Not that Phil thought he was unattractive or anything, but Daniel James Howell was one of the most beautiful humans he’d ever encountered. Phil considered himself lucky to exist in the same world as Dan.

Holy shit. I’m completely infatuated with my best friend.

Upon this revelation, Phil Lester decided to enact a plan of action. He was going to meet Annaleigh, and challenge her for Dan. Or something like that. Maybe he would serenade Dan and shower him with roses. Or maybe he would bring Dan to a restaurant and put a ring in a champagne glass. Will you date me? Or maybe he should just stop obsessing over his best friend.

But that was highly unlikely.

So the next time Dan was over at Phil’s, Phil casually asked, “Can I meet Annaleigh? I don’t know, but it just seems a little bit weird that I haven’t met my best friend’s girlfriend.” He tried not to wince at the sour taste the word ‘girlfriend’ put in his mouth.

Dan started, looking up from the game he was playing on his DS. “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea Phil.”

And then Phil could sense tendrils of black ensnaring Dan. He quickly backtracked. “Oh no, it’s fine if you don’t want to, I just thought…” He then trailed off, knowing Dan would understand what he meant.

“Maybe one day this week,” Dan said. “I’m okay with it. Really.” Then he went back to Pokémon and Phil went back to confusion.

That was the last they spoke of Annaleigh until Phil got a text from Dan.

Hey me and Annaleigh are at coffee place on campus. she wants to meet u so i told her  
id ask u if u want to meet us?? :)

ok sure. be there in 15 min

Phil was bursting with curiosity about the prospect of finally encountering Dan’s girlfriend. In all of his excitement, he managed to forget his phone twice, and trip over his shoelaces walking out the door. When he stumbled into the coffee shop, he saw Dan first, dressed in the very sweater he had been in when Phil came across him in that practice room almost three months ago.

When Phil approached their booth, Dan smiled, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. Call it a hunch, but Phil knew something was very, very wrong. “Hey,” he said carefully. “I’m Phil.” As he sat down next to Dan, he studied Annaleigh. She was short and blonde, and her aura was completely red. Angry. Hateful. And Phil was fucking terrified.

“Annaleigh.” She smiled across the table and him and it was all Phil could do not to reach out for Dan’s hand, for any source of comfort.

They slipped into some inane small talk, about Phil’s courses and how Annaleigh met Dan and all the while Phil was paying more attention to Dan. More specifically, how black Dan’s aura was around Annaleigh. Phil was starting to put pieces together. Annaleigh was the source of Dan’s terror. And Phil was going to stop this girl from hurting his best friend ever again.

~

Phil didn’t have a chance to talk to Dan about Annaleigh for the next 4 days. Every second that went by was a moment that Dan could be hurting. Every passing minute was practically causing physical pain for Phil.

Relief came on a Sunday. Dan showed up at his door at 10 with bagels and coffee. “I love you,” Phil blurted out as he bit into his bagel.

Dan dropped his knife and cream cheese splattered on Phil’s couch. “Phil… you can’t mean that.”

“But I do,” Phil stared into Dan’s eyes. “You’re my best friend. And there’s no reason why I can’t love you.”

“Yes there is!” Dan argued. “You’re you and I’m me and you deserve a better best friend. Like PJ.” he sullenly stabbed the bagel.

“Stop it,” Phil was surprised by the cold fury in his own voice. “You, Dan Howell, are the most beautiful, amazing human I have ever met. And don’t you dare even think otherwise.”  
Dan fiddled with his fingers. “There’s something I haven’t told you though.”

Phil gently replied, “There’s nothing you can’t tell me Bear.” He adopted Dan’s childhood nickname, hoping to elicit a response.

Dan visibly flinched. “No one’s called me that since… since…”

Phil nodded encouragingly.

Dan took a deep breath. “A couple weeks before I came to this school, I came out as gay.” He practically whispered the word, like he was afraid someone would hear. “My parents were pretty accepting, but then the rest of my family was saying it was just a phase. That I’d find the right girl and settle down. Mum and Dad started to agree.” He laughed bitterly. “So we see how that turned out. I’m stuck with Annaleigh. Who always hi- Wait. Nevermind.” He stopped.

And that was when Phil put together the puzzle pieces. “Dan. Does Annaleigh hit you?”

And before Phil could take another breath, Dan was crying and flinging himself into Phil’s arms, and Phil was reminded that Dan was 18, still practically a kid, who should not have to deal with this. No one should have to deal with this.

“No one believed me,” Dan gasped out. “I told my friend and he just laughed. Said I was just lying. That a girl wouldn’t hit anyone. Just because I’m a boy, I am not immune to domestic abuse!”

Phil’s heart was breaking with every word Dan spoke. “Shh.” He ran his hand up and down Dan’s back. “I’ve got you. You’re okay.”

When Dan stopped crying and had wiped the tears from his cheeks, he grimaced. “I snotted on your jumper.”

“It’s okay. You’re more important than a silly jumper.”

“She says she does it cause I’m gay. That there’s something wrong with me because I don’t love her the way I’m supposed to.”

“You don’t actually believe that?” Phil asked fearfully.

“Well she says she’s going to fix me. She’ll make my family love me again. I didn’t ask to be fixed, Phil!”

Phil could barely process this. “We are going to fix this Dan. I love you. And we are going to fix this. No matter what.”

~

4 Months Later

Dan had broken up with Annaleigh.  
He had finally convinced his Mum to step away from his family’s views. His Dad was another story, but there was progress.

The black terror that had clouded his life when he first met Phil was gone.

And now, Daniel James Howell had one more thing to do.

Phil was due to meet Dan in their practice room. Well, it wasn’t theirs, but in the past months, they’d spent more than a few hours in there, Phil listening to Dan play as he painted or sketched. Half the time they were portraits of Dan.

Phil arrived and saw Dan in his black concert dress. “Sit.” Dan commanded, gesturing at the seat. Phil sat.

Dan walked over to the piano bench and began to play.

Phil had never heard this song before. It began with a dark, soft melody that reminded Phil of black. But then a shimmering countermelody burst in, soaring into the song. The darker sounds danced carefully around the lighter, airier music, until it began to change. The once black melody joined the lighter, intertwining in a beautiful harmony. Dan played that last few chords.

Phil clapped furiously. “Amazing Dan!”

“I wrote it for you.” Dan smiled nervously. “Cause in case you haven’t noticed, I’m very much in love with you.”

Phil jolted up from his chair and kissed Dan. It was like the world froze. When they broke away, Phil grinned at Dan. “I have been in love with you since the day you spilled cream cheese on my couch.” And then Dan pulled Phil down and connected their lips again. And Phil noticed something different.

Dan was glowing golden and all Phil felt was love and awe.

As they walked out of the door, hands clasped together, Phil asked Dan, “What’s the name of our song?”

Dan blushed pink at ‘our song’. He kissed Phil again. “I called it Black and Gold.”


End file.
